๐๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐น๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฐ๐น๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐ค๐๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฐ๐น๐ฒ?
Ever had a parent pull their child because they decided to overextend their schedule?
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Same. Itโs maddening, because itโs preventable.
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Hereโs the core problem: when families see your program as a month-to-month membership instead of a goal-based journey, quitting feels harmless.
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โWeโll just stop for now.โ
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๐๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐๐ปโ๐ ๐ฃ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ป๐ฒ๐๐. Itโs a dojo.
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University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth found that building grit, (i.e. perseverance) is the number one indicator of longterm success, not IQ.
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So how can we help more students develop that GRIT muscle, and not give up because of scheduling, โ or training being too difficult, or because they are bored?
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Simple, itโs about setting expectations from the beginning.
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We have to teach our families the difference between quitting and moving on.
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Quitting is stopping mid-goal (mid-cycle, mid-belt, mid-season) because it got hard, boring, or busy.
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Moving on is finishing the goal you set, then deciding the next right thing. Moving on is fine. Quitting isnโt.
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Tell parents plainly: โIn this school, we donโt quit mid-goal. We finish, then decide.โ
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You wouldnโt let a child leave a game at halftime; donโt let them leave mid belt either.
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And while Iโm biased, not every kid needs martial arts forever. But they do need to complete what they start. Is that such a crazy idea?
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[BTW If you want my exact script for how to frame what you read below on Day 1 (and how to handle the โweโre too busyโ conversation without sounding pushy), comment โgrit.โ Iโll send it to you free]
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๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒโ๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐น ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ง๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐น ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ธ:
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๐ฃ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฎ ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ต ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ.
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โYour familyโs first checkpoint is [Belt/Stripe/Skill Test] on [date window]. Weโll celebrate that finish, then decide the next goal together.โ
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๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ฟ๐ถ๐ ๐ฒ๐
๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป.
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โBoredom is normal. Plateaus are normal. We coach through both. Thatโs where discipline grows.โ
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๐๐ป๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐น ๐ฎ โ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐โ ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ด๐ฒ.
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A one-paragraph pledge the parent and student sign at enrollment: we finish todayโs goal; we donโt quit mid-cycle. Put a copy in their welcome folder and reference it in every wobble conversation.
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๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต ๐๐ต๐ฒ โ๐ฏ๐๐๐โ ๐ผ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ฝ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ป๐.
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โWe designed training so you can succeed with a normal family schedule. If something comes up that makes it difficult to get to training, can you let us know immediately?
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๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ โ๐โ๐บ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ.โ
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If your child is bored, thatโs great! That means they need to be challenged, and we can do that. Bored is your brain asking for a challenge. Challenge them more in class.
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Now, even if you employ all these strategies, you will still have students discontinue their training. This isnโt 100% bulletproof.
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Unless youโre chaining students to the mat, โmoving onโ is a normal part of any student experience, and thatโs okay!
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Don't guilt anyone for "moving on."
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Letโs just do a better job of setting expectations so we help develop that grit muscle instead of the quit muscle.
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As promised, 3 min read, no fluff, all strategy,
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Your hype man,
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Matthew Brenner
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